ABOUT INTIMACY COACHING
Birds do it, bees do it, so how hard could it be, right?
Where did you learn about how to have a satisfying sex life or for that matter a loving relationship? Your family? Friends? The Internet? Porn?
As a culture we have woefully undervalued the need for highly personalized guidance on how to have loving relationships and satisfying sex lives. Are we are supposed to get from our families… or maybe the Internet? Yeah, how did that work out?
Sex is so private you can think that everyone is having a great sex life – and you are the only one who isn’t. Birds do it, bees do it… So how hard can it be? When you’re in love, you’re supposed to ‘let nature take its course,’ or just figure it out together. Nothing is further from the truth.
“Maybe I’m not with the right person…”
Yeah, it’s okay to admit this. Pretty much everyone secretly believes that if only they were with the right one, the rest would be easy.
Or the next most popular belief… and this one is a real money maker…
“If only I were _____________, sex would be great!”
(Fill in the blank with your favorite insecurity… bigger, smaller, younger, older, more this, less that… you get it.)
We have been buried under Fairy Tales and collective fantasies about the way love and sex, and for that matter our bodies, are supposed to be. Most of these ideas are false at best, TOXIC at worst. These ideas infect the way we think about ourselves and twist us into knots.
Most of what you believe about intimacy is not true.
Intimacy coaching is about combing loose emotional, cultural, religious, and familial tangles so that you can know yourself and your loved ones without all that pressure.
There is a unique wisdom written in what makes you feel good, what makes you feel connected, and what makes you feel authentically you.
Intimacy Coaching heals your heart and gives you confidence.
We will investigate the context that you were helplessly born into. We will re-write the stories you were told about yourself and your abilities. We will fill in any missing pieces in your personal sex education (we all have some).
As your Intimacy Coach, I can support you in ways your therapist cannot.
We will train your awareness so that you can literally feel more pleasure. We will care for your nervous system so that you can feel solid even when arguing, or asking for exactly what you want. Your capacity to connect will expand… because we will practice connection!
Intimacy Coaching lets you hack the “technology” of love.
We will create a relationship laboratory where you can get perspective and feedback on the way you give and receive love. When you understand your impact on your loved ones, you grow your capacity for empathy. Practicing communication, not only verbal but non-verbal too, builds confidence. Rinse. Repeat. That’s why coaching is so profoundly transformative… it’s experiential.
With Intimacy Coaching, it’s critical you find someone with whom you feel comfortable.
Your sexuality and your feelings about your body are… well… incredibly intimate! This is risky business. Reading everything on my website, and seeing my picture, can certainly help you get a sense of my values and my ‘vibe.’ I want you to know me. There is plenty of intel you can gather from clicking around, and you might already have an intuition that we are a good fit.
The quality of connection with a healing practitioner is far more important than methodologies used. This is a foundational truth of the therapeutic arts, backed up by multiple studies and immeasurable anecdotal evidence.
That’s why I offer a free 15-minute heart-to-heart chat.
We’ll quickly get a sense if you and I have the chemistry we need to make meaningful contributions to your happiness. Call me now. Or if you like more words, read on…
About Me
Hi, I’m Christina, nice to virtually meet you…
When I was little, I wanted to be an evangelist. I wanted to travel the world and tell everyone, “I bear good news! You are Loved!” And in a way, that’s what I do for a living. I’ve been a sex educator since I taught my best girlfriend about oral sex on my thumb at an age so young I won’t admit (Mom might be reading).
It’s been a winding road I’ve taken to get to you, but I’ve always wound around one theme. I’ve spent my entire life obsessed with expanding my capacity for awareness, connection, and love.
Erotic Empowerment isn’t just my job, it’s the stand that I take in the world. I believe that it is a key component of Social Justice.
When we totally love the miracle of our body, and we are free to be exactly who we are, and love exactly who we want, in whatever family structure supports and nourishes our community, we are creative, productive, and very difficult to control.
We are resourced by the vast primal energies of the body, the same energy that created the Universe. Erotically empowered, we are alive in a way that defies unjust authority.
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free
that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” ~Albert Camus
My Approach and Experience…
I am a Clinical Sexologist (ACS), Certified in the Somatica Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching, a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, and a supporting member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors, and Therapists. And after over 25 years of experience and continued training, I weave in other powerful modalities I’ve picked up along the way.
I am continually in supervision with experts and constantly updating my education and certifications. That way you get the benefit not just of my experience, but the most up to date science on how to help people have better sex and more love in their lives.
I am qualified to offer Spiritual Direction to serious students of Tantra and Yoga philosophy. I have also taught meditation and relational spiritual practice, and both participated in and founded communities exploring the evolution of collective consciousness. Before I focused on supporting relationships, my practice specialty was the intersection of Sexuality and Spirituality.
Supporting loving relationship, in all its permutations, has been my jam my entire life. Here’s a bit about how that unfolded…
In my early 20s, I trained as a Certified Massage Therapist. Through the course of my career, I’ve had my hands on literally thousands of bodies. I have worked with clients across the spectrum of size, race, gender, and personal self-expression using multiple bodywork modalities.
There was no way for me not to develop respect and deep appreciation for the therapeutic power of pleasurable touch. In fact, a quality emerged in my work that I could only describe as “sacred.”
Bodywork is an extraordinarily intimate profession, and clients took advantage of the safe space we created. My table became a “confessional.” Touch is as emotionally therapeutic as it is physically restorative.
Themes around body shame, sexual trauma, and spiritual awakening began to emerge. I scrambled to get the training to keep up with how my practice was evolving. During this time, I was both a student and a teacher of Tantra, embodied spiritual practice, somatic sex education, and relational spiritual practice.
Some highlights…
- Certified Somatica Sex and Relationship Coach… Somatica Institute
- Certified Sexologist… The American College of Sexologists International
- Member American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists
- Member American Association of Sexological Bodyworkers
- Core Faculty at the Institute for Sexuality and Enlightenment, an AASECT accreditation institute
- Co-founder of the WePractice Community, an organization exploring awakened relationship
I have dual degrees in Philosophy and Psychology. I continue to keep up serious, long-term professional studies in Somatic Experiencing, Positive Psychology, Adult Sexuality Education, and Attachment Theory.
I hold myself to a high level of accountability to be informed, supported, and up to date in my practice. At this time I’m leaning strongly into training in Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion, and committed to using my white privilege to deconstruct white privilege.
And I still think of myself as an Intimacy Minister, an Erotic Evangelist, and by the power invested in me by the Internet, I’m even officially a Reverend.
Degrees and endless education is great, but let me share with you my most hard won credentials.
I’ve had more than one dark night of the soul and more than one spectacular public failure. I know what it’s like to feel like my hormones, the government, and the gods are conspiring against me.
I’ve been both inside and outside of the cultural standard in terms of body size, family structure, and sexual self-expression. My unconventionality has been an incredible source of strength, and at times, honestly, a burden.
I have worn identities and shed them either by choice or force so many times that my sense of self has been taken down to the studs. When I’ve been at my lowest, I have leaned on the support of others (many of them professionals) who have been able to see all of me and love me anyway.
My gratitude is beyond what I can express. My only way to balance the karmic scale, to my absolute delight, is to offer this to others.
Because I’ve been there and come back, I can hold a larger vision for your well-being. Even when you temporarily can’t.